When I am so trapped
That my heart flees to my stomach
To avoid what beats behind my ribs
I indulge in unreal fears instead.
Horror is where
I can safely vomit up my panic
These films are my family now
Cousins with knocking hands and long shadows
Dripping monsters with enormous claws
Tentacles, teeth, jaws
Running frantic and inevitable, like children
Tall vampires, seductive as death
Drinking morosely in the kitchen
Zombies, boring and predictable
Sudden werewolves, breathing hotly
Not quite against my ear
An alien with bad intentions
Peering through the window.
And Lucifer themself
Eyes dark and old
A waste of power
An older sibling
To teach me
What not to become.